Sorrow At Work: A Bereavement Policy

You would think since I co-founded (with Dr. Karen Scott) Lost & Found Grief Center in Springfield, Missouri nearly 18 years ago, am on the board, and have facilitated a teen group on and off for many years that I would have done this before now. It’s embarrassing actually. Backing up, at Lost & Found we provide free grief support for children and teens who have experienced the death of a loved one. If you’ve read my book you know that this place is near and dear to my heart. We’ve served thousands of children and their families over the years.

Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO, was interviewed not long after her husband died unexpectedly and said the company would be adding a bereavement policy to its benefit package. When I heard about this I had to get my hands on the new policy which was not easy but I did. They now offer 20 days paid leave in the case of the death of an immediate family member and 10 after the death of an extended family member. Of course they have great benefits, they’re Facebook, one of the most valuable companies in the world. I wanted our little company of 17 full time employees to have our own bereavement policy. We already have a maternity/paternity policy. For tiny companies these benefits can be very expensive and challenging to execute. But, as my grandma used to say “we’re makin’ it.”

There are many reasons we small business owners should follow Facebook on this idea. First, it’s the right thing to do. It sends a message of compassion that will be heard. Second, it makes financial sense as studies estimate that American companies lose tens of billions of dollars in lost productivity because employees cannot focus on work [citations omitted – google it]. Third, grief is a workplace health issue and as an educated society we need to work on this and treat it with the respect it deserves. Fourth, we don’t need the government to solve this problem because businesses can do it and lead the way together.

Ten days is not “enough” and neither is ten years because guess what? If your child dies your grief will never end. Ever. Or how about the man whose wife died and he was left with five children under ten? He needs more than 10 days. We implemented our new policy Friday. Feel free to copy and paste or use this to consider your own bereavement policy. What we’re trying to do is say “We recognize this death in your family, we see you and care about you and will pay you for this time off.” Of course we cannot “fix” the pain but we can participate in the sorrows of our coworkers as best we can.

Please consider joining us and implement your own bereavement policy. Once your employee returns then the work of learning the language of a broken heart begins in earnest. I hope your town has a grief center like Lost & Found that you can suggest to your employees who are learning to walk with their families in grief.

Thank you Sheryl Sandberg for bringing this to our collective attention in the midst of your profound sadness. Here is our policy for you to cut, copy, paste and revise:

This policy applies to employees who qualify for PTO. Non-qualifying employees should see their direct supervisor to address cases on an individual basis.

Askinosie Chocolate allows employees up to 10 paid working days on the death of an immediate family member. An immediate family member is a spouse (same/opposite sex), a domestic partner (same/opposite sex), and children (including step-, a domestic partner’s, or a foster child).

Askinosie Chocolate allows employees up to 3 paid working days on the death of an extended family member. An extended family member is a parent (including step-, in-law, and domestic partner’s), a sibling (includes step, in-law, and domestic partner’s), a grandparent (includes step, in-law, and domestic partner’s), grandchild (includes step and domestic partner’s).